Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
