Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize