Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
