I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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