I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize