Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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