i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
