How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
