I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
