I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
