Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
