Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
