Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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