Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
