Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
