you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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