At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
its liver damage thursday
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
