Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
