So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
