can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
