Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
