Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
