soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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