I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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