You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i think i just lost a toe
The Olympian is in my bed
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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