you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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