He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
