no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
