i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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