Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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