No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
