woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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