Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
