he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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