My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's never too late to be topless.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
