Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize