I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
