I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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