She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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