New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
