It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
