and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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