Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
