My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
