I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
