Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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