I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
