Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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