We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize