the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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