Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
