Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
