i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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