Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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