It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
