you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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