dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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