is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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