I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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